Hold On
by BeautifulScarsOnCriticalVeins
Summary: Isabella Swan was left by the Cullen's and abandoned by the Wolf Pack of LA Push. She has been gone for a year running from Victoria. She comes home for a special date, and to finish what the Cullen's caused. Will she go through with it or will something stop her? WARNING: Please do not read if you are easily triggered.
1. Chapter 1

_**This will be a story about attempted suicide and depression. This is your warning, I have been through this and I wanted to get this idea out of my head.**_

 _ **Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. If you have any sensitive triggers read at your own risk. This is not a happy story in its beginning.**_

 _ **~~Intro~~  
**_ " _I don't want you. I never did, you were just a form of entertainment for me and my family, we laughed at you whenever you weren't around. You are simply an unworthy human that we grew bored of. Have a desperate, fragile life Bella."_ His words still haunt me six months later, even after I pulled myself out of the zombie like state.

I made myself get up, bring my grades up so high I qualified to graduate early and get a job to help pay for a new car and college. Everything I have done since the day he left, seemed to do nothing the night that I lost Charlie. Harry, Billy and Charlie were driving to La Push after watching a baseball game at our house when Victoria ran them off the road, she left Harry and Billy with minor wounds, but she made sure that Charlie was the only casualty. The next morning I found out that the Quileutes of the La Push tribe werewolf Shapeshifters and that they hated me for bringing Victoria into their territory and that they'll only protect their own, that I was to fend for myself. I decided that I would begin to care for me and only me, and that I would go on the run from Victoria.

 _~~Chapter 1~~_

It's been a year since the Cullen's left and almost a full year that Charlie has been dead. I've been on the run for a year, I took the life insurance money that Charlie had from the Sheriff's department, which was over half a million and the ten thousand one that Renee had on him, and took off. I've been all over North America and Canada, making sure to never stay in one place for too long. I have been on the run from Victoria, making sure to not speak to Renee or anyone that knows me.

Tomorrow is the anniversary of Charlie's death, so I am heading back to Forks to pay my respects and leave.

I drive past the _Welcome to Forks!_ Sign and feel a weight settle on my shoulders as I pull into the inn and walk in.

"Bella Swan! You're back. How can I help you?" Sherry, the innkeeper, exclaims.

"I need a room for two days please." She nods and hands me the key after I pay her. I nod to her, walk out to the car and drive around the building to get to the room. I drop my bag on the bed and walk back out to the car to head to La Push to see Billy, knowing that he and Harry will be together today.

Walking up to the door I take a deep breath and lightly knock. After a moment Jacob opens the door, an angry cold look on his chiseled face.

"I am not here for you or the Pack Jacob. I am here for Billy, may I see him?"  
"He isn't in. Leave." He steps forward, trying to push me off the tiny front porch.

"Jacob Black, I know that he and Harry are going to be together today and tomorrow to mourn Charlie's death, that is the only reason that I'm here." He slowly begins to quiver, I remember that means he is close to shifting. I step back from him, and he steps closer.

"Harry is dead. A few months after you left the red headed bitch came back, Harry was hunting, we were all patrolling and chasing her when she drops down in front of him, scaring him so bad that he has a massive heart-attack. None of us could do anything, but Sam carried him home. It is your fault he is dead. You will not come near my father. If he dies because of this red headed leach, then so will you." My hand whips out faster than I can blink, the sound of skin against skin echoing around us.

"Threaten me again Black and we will have more issues than we already have. The vampire bitch killing Harry wasn't my fault, that is why I left remember? To lead her away from here, and you can honestly blame the Cullens and their compulsion of me for this. I wanted away from the Cullen's when I came here, but they got into my head and shit. I am sorry for Harry, I am sorry for the Cullen's being here, but you are welcome for making the Cullen's leave. At least no more of you have had to shift." My hands are behind my back, one hand softly wrapped around the pistol at my waist. A bullet may not kill him, but it will slow him down if he comes at me.

"I do not want you to come near Billy."  
"I don't fucking care! I have to see him." I shout, knowing in my gut that I needed to make sure that the only person left my father cared about was alive. A deep menacing growl resonates from Jacob's chest, "Leave you Leech Whore!" He roars launching himself at me. My gun is in my hand as I step to the side, and fire. I watch the bullet hit him in the shoulder, he twists back toward me and his claws graze my thighs, yet I stand my ground.

The russet wolf in place of my former best friend crouches as if to launch itself at me, but the door behind me opens. In the doorway is Billy Black with an angry look on his face.

"He told you to leave, as alpha of the Pack, he is also Chief. You have less than ten minutes to get off La Push land and to never return. When you left to go live your amazing life with your Daddy's dead money, we've been here taking care of the issue that your stupidity caused. It is your fault and your fault alone that your father is dead and that his best friend is dead. Go home and never return. You are a disgrace to everything your father wanted you to be. If he knew what you had been up to before he died, he would have disowned you." I turn from him, satisfied in the fact that he was still breathing, climbed back into my car and drove to the Forks Cemetery. Charlie may have died a year ago tomorrow, but I will not be here. I'll be long gone. I will never come back to this place.

 _Here lies Sheriff Charles Swan. Amazing officer, father, brother and friend. Born January 13th, 1964, Died October 8th, 2006._

"Hey, Dad. I know that I'm a day early, but this will be the only time that I will come to see you ever again. I know that you probably know everything I did by now, but I want to apologize. It is my fault you died. I will fully admit that, because I know me getting in league with Vampires was a naive decision, and I will regret it to the day that I die. I'm sorry, Daddy." I kiss my hand and place it on his headstone and stand. As I dust off my knees I see a wolf's muzzle poking through the shrubbery and I growl softly.

"I know that I need to get out of Forks, so I no longer bring Vampires back here. I'll be gone tonight or in the morning. And none of you will have to deal with me or hear from me again." The wolf whines deep in its throat.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"If you want to have a conversation you'll have to Phase into human. If you're just going to tell me to leave, you can kiss my ass." I walk away from the wolf, to the car so I can care for the still bleeding cuts from Jacob.

"Stupid Mutt." I mumble as I swiftly change from jeans to a pair of shorts, ignoring the gooseflesh that peppers my bare legs."  
"If you knew you would be ran from the area,why did you return? Your father is dead, what use is there to see a grave with a decaying body?" A deep rumble pulls me away from my wounds.

My eyes travel up the bare feet, tan legs clad in cut off jeans, the chizeled lean chest, to emerald green eyes filled with worry and regret. "Embry." I notice that I cannot pull my gaze from his, and I can tell from his dazed look that he just imprinted on me. Thank the gods I got a hold of the old Pack journals that Billy left a few years ago, before everyone died.

"You have to stay now." Embry mumbles, and I let out a harsh laugh; he looks at me in complete shock and pain.

"You can't expect me to stay here, Pack Law or not. I was threatened by your all mighty Alpha to stay off of La Push land. When I leave tonight, I never plan to return.", I shrug and go back to cleaning and bandaging my wounds, " You might as well find a way to break this silly Imprint, and get with someone who isn't a walking danger magnet." I finish and change back into my jeans, no longer the awkward and shy Bella everyone knew.

"So you'd let me suffer, as the further away you get, the more debilitating the pain. While you also know, that the pain will have will be the same. Don't you care?" His words grate my nerves and I pull off the sweatshirt and tank top, displaying my own scars.

"I know pain." The scars start with where James bit me, the arm that was sliced with glass, a scar on my head from being flung from a motorcycle. A scar diagonal across my abdomen from jumping from a bridge and getting cut, while running from Victoria. Tiny scars across my chest from glass shattering in front of me while I worked in a glass shop in Alabama.

"All of you think that when I left, that I was surviving off of Charlie's life insurance and I wasn't! I am only able to use a small portion of it a month, and I use that for gas and maybe some food. I've been running from this psycho bitch for a year now, by doing odd jobs all over the country. I tried to keep her following me, to leave everyone here, even if it killed me." My voice rises as I speak, and I can tell by the movement in the trees that there are more wolves present, and I can't make myself care as I scream.

"I should have just let her kill me when I was in Portland, when I jumped off the bridge to get away," I motion to the scar across my abdomen that was grotesque and jagged. " She would finally have been satisfied and left everyone here alone. Next time she catches up, I'll let her so she can leave this place alone and you all can have peace. I'll be gone by tonight." I pull my clothes back on and when I open my eyes, there are more wolves standing behind Embry. I can see Jacob in the front, anger still heavily present in his eyes, but there is also regret.

I quickly pull myself into the car and drive back to the hotel, grab my bag and return my key to Sherry.

"Leaving so soon, dear?" I nod, unable to form a response and walk out the door, ignoring the money she wanted to give back for the day I didn't even use. I knew coming here was a mistake, but I wanted to see Charlie. As I berate myself, I don't register the person in front of me till I bump into them.

"Bella." I look up and its Jacob. Pushing past him, I do my best to not think that he has now seen what I've been through.

"Bella, please." I whorl to face him, anger acute on my face.

"You have no reason to be here. See?" I throw my duffel to the ground in front of him, "I"m leaving. Just like you demanded, Mighty Alpha." I bow to him gaudily and glare.

"Can you just come to the border so we can talk?"  
"Oh, so now you want to talk? Is it because Embry imprinted, or because you now feel bad, because poor innocent Isabella Swan got hurt? That she now can endure more pain than imaginable?" I spit the words that he once said to me the night Charlie died, but with more venom.

Growling low in his throat, Jacob drags his hand down his face, then looks at me. Deep circles lay underneath his eyes, stress lines stretched across his face. I lean against my car, not letting him affect me like I did earlier.

"I am sorry that we left you to fend for yourself, I know that you didn't want to be in league with the Cullen's."  
"You really think Sorry is going to fix this?"  
"No, but I'd like to talk to you about everything civilly, at the border. We have a rainproof tarp pitched with some chairs and a fire, so we can talk about how to take care of the blood sucker. But you have to stay on this side of the treaty line, because the Elders will be there, and they are still angry. But they don't know what we now know."  
I sigh and run my fingers through my hair, "Let me get Charlie's truck out of storage and I'll be there. Send me a wolf, not Embry, to show me how to get there." He nods and I rattle off the location of the storage building and he and I go separate ways.


	3. Chapter 3

**_Please let me know what you think. This one is a little longer, but we will get the real true answers in the next chapter, I am trying to do a slowburn type thing. Love you all! REVEW FOR MAMA_**

 _ **Chapter 3**_

I get to the storage unit that holds Charlie's truck and a few boxes of his things that I didn't want to donate; clothes, his favorite recliner, small knick knacks from my childhood. As I looked at the truck, I am once again overcome with grief for what I did, I look to the ceiling of the unit, tears brimming. _God, I am so sorry Dad. You deserved a better daughter, one who wouldn't have gotten you killed for stupid mistakes._

A small rap against the unit pulls me from my thoughts and I look to see Paul standing in the doorway, a grimace on his face.

"I don't want to do this, but everyone else is upset that you're back anyways. I don't particularly care. You wanna leave? Doesn't bother me." I ignore his chatter and climb into Charlie's truck, it is now a faded blue, with a little rust from where moisture gets through everything here, but it still smells like his aftershave.

"Get in or I'll leave you here and just find the border on my own." I cut off his tirade and he looks at me shocked that I cut him off.

"You're not as important as you think Lahote, you're more annoying than anything." I snap as he gets in.

The truck roars to life and I pull out of the unit, and hit a button on the dash to close it, and soon we are on the way. We go down three separate logging roads before he tells me to pull over, "It's a little hike east of here, too dense for vehicles."  
Once we get to the invisible treaty line, I see a deep fire pit roaring in the ground, a tarp like tent pitched on both sides, with a few chairs, and everyone else already accounted for. All of the elders, except Sue look at me with disgust and anger as I approach, Paul walked ahead to get on his side of the line.

I plop into a lawn chair and look at Jacob, "You wanted me here, now what?" The elders rumble amongst each other at the way I spoke to him.

"Oh no no no, no whispering about me. You have something to say, them spit it out. Your words can't hurt me." Billy looks at me.

"You of all people shouldn't even speak to an Alpha, you were invited here, be respectful." Billy, who was like a second father, looks at me like he has forgotten all of that.

"I am a human, I can do as I please. I want to know why I am here." Everyone looks at Jacob who is sitting in a chair near his father, in a pair of shorts and a black tank top, a small pink scar still sits where I shot him.

"I brought everyone here on such short notice, so Bella can get her side of the story out. We know that she dated Edward, and associated with the Cullen family, but we don't know it all. I think, before she decides to leave or not, we should hear her out." In an instant there is an uproar of protest from some of the elders.

"Her even being associated with the demons should be enough to ban her from the tribe and it's lands." Spits Old Quill.

"We shouldn't even speak or listen to the Vampire whore." Spouts Elder Zacharia.

"Your Mighty Alpha has spoken, you should listen." Growls Sam from behind Jacob and I smirk.

I watch the Elders anger in fascination, knowing that Sue wants to hear my story, she loved Charlie after all.

"You think that I slept with Edward Cullen, you think I voluntarily became a part of their so called family, you think that you know everything that happened from what Charlie told you. And you are wrong. I met Edward Cullen in a class I had in school, he ran from me, and over the course of the next few days, he became obsessed with me. I was his singer, my blood called to him more than any other, and he couldn't read my thoughts, so I was an interest to him. Vampire's have an ability to draw in their prey, to make them docile before they kill them. That is what he did to me, all the time. I went to watch them play baseball, adn was hunted by a nomad vampire named James, he was Victoria's mate. They hated me all the way to Phoenix, he was the one who broke my leg, gave me the bite mark on my wrist. I didn't fall down a flight of stairs or go through a window. Then, on my birthday I got a papercut, and it sent Jasper into a frenzy, he is an empath, and him feeling everyone's bloodlust made him crazy. Instead of moving out of the way, I was thrown into a table, and cut my arm to ribbons.

"To them, I was Edwards plaything. They never actually cared enough about my safety to even kill the one thing left to threaten me, Victoria. They said she wasn't a threat. It is their fault Charlie and Harry are dead. Not mine. I didn't want to have anything to do with them."

They look to Jacob in doubt.

"Show them your scars, tell them so they know." He rumbles, and for a moment my eyes roam over the pack, Paul, Sam, Jarred, Embry, Quill, Leah, Little Seth, Colin, Brady. All have a look of sadness and regret on their features.

"The night Charlie died, I was already planning on leaving, I had my bag packed and everything, I was eighteen, I didn't have to stay here. Victoria came into my room with another vampire, I still have no idea who he was. He pinned me to the wall of my room, as Victoria told me she was going to kill everyone and everything that I ever loved, for revenge for James. I tried explaining that Edward killed him, but she was too in her head to even listen. The other male vampire kept me pinned to the wall as she went out and caused the wreck." I once again pulled off my sweatshirt and slightly pulled up my tank top.

"I went to Portland first, she found me there as well, and I ran. I ran for so long, I knew she was playing with me, like James did. I went to a bridge, and she tried to corner me, I jumped and landed in the river, slicing my stomach open on a old barrel, kept myself underwater till I knew she was gone. I then kept running, I can't touch all of Charlie's life insurance until I am twenty-five, but I can get a little at a time. I used it for food or gas every month, and did odd jobs all over the country to survive. I worked in a glass shop in Alabama, and saw here there as well, causing me to grip the glass figurine so hard it shattered against my chest. She tried to get me killed by jumping in front of a motorcycle I was on, and I cut my head open.

"I ran so I could get away, I wanted to keep everyone safe. You all had told me I was on my own. I had no one to turn to when I was gone for a year. Yet, I survived. All I want is for her to be killed, and I will leave here, and never return." I finished my sob story and put my clothes back on.

"What about your imprint? Would you stay then, if she was destroyed?" Sam asks me, his eyes flicking to Embry's stony form.

"I am sure that it can be broken. He doesn't want someone like me forever. I am fucked up."

 ** _Review_** ** _I know it isn't that great._**


	4. Chapter 4

_**I know this is short, I am trying to decide where this is going. I am legit letting it write itsself. Let me know what you think!**_

 _ **Chapter 4**_

"Child, you don't know what Embry wants. He has been through things, learned things. Ask him. What he wants." Old Quill says.

"What do you want, Embry?" I ask and he moves closer the border line.

"I just want you to be happy. I know that we screwed up, that you went through all that on your own, but I don't want you to be alone anymore either. So. if you decide to leave, I'll sever my ties with the Pack, and follow you anywhere." I blanch at his words, a little unnerved.

"You'd leave everything and everyone you know? Even to just be a friend if that is what I wanted?" He steps over the border, ignoring the soft growls coming from Paul.

"Yes, in a heartbeat. With an Imprint, no matter what the Imprintee needs, I have to be near you. It's very painful to be away for very long or at great distances." He steps closer to me, and I take a step back.

"I get it. The Imprint is making you feel all lovey-dovey and shit. But I haven't been in a relationship in a year or longer. I am not up for that, we can be like, acquaintances for now, and then friends. But I do not want you following me." _Hell, I'd be much happier if you just broke the Imprint._ I think to myself.

"I just want Victoria to be destroyed, so I can live my life in some semblance of peace, because I have had enough of the supernatural for a lifetime." He nods, his face going cold and steps back inline with the Pack.

"You can stay at Charlie's house. We've kept it up, incase Renee decided to sell it." I scoff.

"Renee isn't able to sell Charlie's house. I am, my name is on the deed. When I leave, I'll sell it and give the Tribe the profit, since you all are the only reason that the Vampire's haven't come back." I watch as all the Pack's eyes light up with the thought of money. It wouldn't be a whole lot, but enough to help them out.

"That would be much obliged. Since none of us have scented Victoria in the area, we will scout and patrol as much as we can. We'll take her down, and you can go on with your life." I nod and walk back to Charlie's old truck, in fading sunlight and drive to the old place I called home a year ago.

Pulling into the driveway was a difficult mental task. I can still see Fork's Sheriff's Department Chaplain Greg Montgomery at my door, telling me how a deputy responded to a wrecked car, and how they found him. His head almost severed from his body, how they thought that he was under the influence and lost control of his cruiser. I knew that Charlie had drank half a beer the entire time Billy and Harry were there, since he was going to take them home, and stay at Billy's so they could go fishing the next morning. Charlie was the Chief, he knew not to drink and drive. So many scandals were brought up in the following days before his funeral, but they all were wrong.

 _You can do this, Bella. It's a few nights._ I berate myself as I climb the steps and open the door.

Everything was the same, but also,empty.

 _I hope she gets destroyed soon._

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